I wanted to follow up on the recent article I posted called ‘What urges you to change?’
My intentions of writing that article was that I wanted to express how our ‘Selves’ or Higher Self will always show us our truth…
to let other women know that domestic violence can be subtle though is just as destructive. And it was that subtleness (sometimes it wasn’t that subtle) that had me confused and questioning what was truly happening. When I was in the middle of the mess that I was in, I actually wished that he would punch me in the face ( I even called his bluff on a few occassions and asked him to)… crazy I know… at the time I felt that if he hit me like that, I would have blatant evidence that what was occurring was abuse…. because it wasn’t there I craved for mainstream media or articles or the community to show me that the occurrences that was happening to me was also classed as domestic violence. There was none…. and I felt alone, confused and of course being told I was to blame for his outbursts, felt that if only I didn’t do x,y,z then this wouldn’t happen again….
I didn’t write the article to bring up my past.
I did not write the article to dwell on things.
I didn’t write the article to get back at him.
And I didn’t write the article expecting things to change… again… and they have…
I believed that before I wrote this article I was fine with my past… I had healed my stuff with this and I did not feel anything towards that time anymore… to my surprise I have had a new and positive shift!
Since writing this article I have had others open up and tell me of their experiences as young women and violence within their past relationships, I have had friends who knew and those that did not know about this time in my life, send messages of support, love and encouragement and I have also had healing…. healing that I never knew I even needed.
I have heard from two people who both knew me from that time, who have come to me saying how shocked they were to hear about the abuse occurring and they both let me know that if I had mentioned anything to them at the time, they would have supported me and helped me out of that situation…. when I read these two wonderful messages there was a ping of healing in my body and tears in my eyes… I had no idea that they would read this article and to be honest I had not even contemplated that side of things…. though right there on my screen were words that touched somewhere inside me that needed further healing….
It is that old cliché … we are all ‘onions with many layers’… just as you think that you are ok with stuff… something comes along to bring a new perspective, a new twist and a new connection… for my circumstance it has been positive and healing and I am grateful.
Thank you to everyone for sharing their story with me, for all your Love and support and awareness….
I hope that sharing this story will provide support for young women who may need to hear that it’s ‘NOT OK’ or allow the words to ring in their ears if they ever have to question their circumstances.
It’s NOT OK!
It is NOT OK to be…
Pushed, kicked, shoved, threatened, chased, pinched, bitten, squeezed by the hand until it hurts, spat on, water tipped over you, pulled or hit…
It is NOT OK to have things thrown at you, personal items destroyed, to be hit by soft things such as pillows, hoodies, jackets, towels, shirts etc…or hard things such as pots and pans, shoes, chairs, books etc
It is NOT OK to allow someone to isolate you from your friends, family, support network, work or people you live with…
It is NOT OK!
Please feel free to add any other ‘NOT OK’s’ in order for others to get the message…
AND TELL SOMEONE IT IS HAPPENING… even if the 1st person doesn’t listen or want to know, tell someone else… if they don’t want to know tell someone else… keep telling people until you find someone who will listen and help… or call the police!
Just know that things can be better.. you can be happy and it is NOT YOUR FAULT!
much Love and Light goes out to all….xx